By Odesola Taiwo
He was only asked to introduce himself, and then with a head bow, eyes staring intently at his feet and the latter which were shaking in rhyme with an unheard tune, voice breaking in-between the few words been muttered in front of over 1,000 people sited at the auditorium. “Ehm….ehm… you know, I mean….my name is Calistus Whohem”.,he finally said. Then the young smart lady who was anchoring the youth program had no option but to politely retrieve the device used in enhancing sound from Calistus to save him the further disgrace of falling off the podium.
What do you think happened to him? He possibly couldn’t gather up enough courage to properly introduce himself in the presence of such a great crowed. I guess this scene isn’t too absurd or new to you! You sure might have come in contact with such timid person somehow somewhere; or probably you are in that shoe.
Calistus obviously lack either confidence or he has low self-esteem and poor self-image.
Self – image is not the pictures of yourself posing at the camera of your phone or a digital camera. It is the picture of the image formed in the natural camera of the mind. Simply put; it is how you see yourself on the inside. What you think about your present abilities, and your future capacities. Your self-image is the major determine how you present yourself before others. You can’t look good enough on the outside if you can’t feel good enough from the inside.
Confidence is knowing and believing in what God says you are. This does not in any way connote been full of pride, not at all, but being able to boldly come up and present you expressly.
Low-self-esteem is seeing a poor image of oneself, rating oneself so low, not thinking good of you. It kills more than death, it reduces the confidence of an individual to a minus zero level. Some fake confidence or hid under the banner of “I am a quiet person’’. They wouldn’t attempt a thing even when it seems like their life revolves around it. They are always separated from people who according to them are more “classic”.
Low-self-esteem imprints a sense of insecurity that brings about suspicion. You feel like everyone is talking about you even when no one makes an “oh’’ with a little rounded mouth. It feels good to walk among the crowd, when no one will notice you and becomes a disaster when you take a few steps alone, it would seem as if the ground should open up and swallow you, you can’t help it but to fall at every steps taken. You tell some silent lies to yourself that you are not good at it, others are better; you are not up to the task. It might even be a skill as little as learning how to use the recorder!
To further throw more light into some attributes of the low-self-esteems, they not only look down on themselves, they don’t appreciate others who do it well. Some build fences of pride around themselves, the bottom line is that they want to be noticed by force, so aggression comes in. people of low self-esteem only motion in life with no direction, they don’t know what they are good at so they keep on attempting and quitting, they follow the crowd but when they are alone, they quit, for better illustration, they are like a reed easily blown away by wind. Firmness is not included in their anthem.
WHAT DOES YOUR CAMERA SEE?
A little bending, another ditch, a rough cross, distorted and unreal image! These are been created in the natural camera of the mind, these are what they see whenever they look inwards, into their identities, their journeys. Regardless of their gender/ages, there are no differences.
If she happens to be a female child, she spends the greatest part of her life in search of a man to cling to and draws him to filling up the ditches, straighten up the bends and correct her image for her. Underneath the mascara and foundations is a young girl crying to the man to bring an external light which will reveal her true identity. She becomes so thirsty for love that she rushes into what seems to be love, half-naked and ill prepared. She always loves too quickly, hold too tightly and more often than not, loose too quickly, the one she had aspired to grasp. She prepares her body in exchange for her mind, she garnishes herself to be served as a meat for the hungry man who takes advantage of her without any regret, eats and disposes away. Loose woman!
If it were to be a male child, he give in to alcoholism, drug abuse and touts display, doing all of these to disregard his emptiness. But unfortunately, it is like hammering an open wound.
LET’S GO BACK TO THE ROOT
The timid young man/woman today were once confident, the loose woman that walks the street was once chaste, bend roads were once straight, distorted images were once real. What then happened?
In a twinkle of an eye, moving from pampers to puberty. So much have been imprinted! Experts revealed that the most crucial years of a child if from the lower ages, you can make or mar a child at this tender age. Unintended damages, cracks, molestations, abuses, bruises, wrapped up innocently in words or actions deposited subsequently as the switch that brings daylight turns off and on throughout the years of a child’s development, have been piled up to make this distorted images we see today!
You see, when a child gets abuses, his/her self-image gets blur day by day and the final result is a distorted image seen in low self-esteems. I quiet understand that “ did has been done” but something can still be done to break loose this shell of low-self-esteem which has encaged you for long.
I wish that you follow on the ride to revealing the solution that follows in the few lines ahead.
Look deeper beyond the faults: those with high-self-esteem, those who have confident and those who appreciate themselves didn’t take easy ride to achieve that, it took them long process of hard work! Spanning from looking deep into oneself and seeing the actual image being formed (I mean whatever it is you see, whatever mess you think your life is.) accept your status as it is, get to know your weaknesses and strengths, for instance, I———– (fill in your first name), am a fat person, or you’d prefer to use ‘fabulous’, or a slim/lepa or skinny. I am tall/short, dark/fair. That step is needed for us to be able to recognize and accept our physique, appreciate your physique, it is a blessing.
Identify your weaknesses: The second step is to examine your ways critically, categorically write out all that you are capable of doing. I.e. your characters for instance, I ——– (insert your name), am a liar, a thief, gossiper, procrastinator, fraud, unfaithful, womanizer, drunkard, prostitute. Even if my list and yours contained some of the same characters, each one will be different in myriad ways for they are personal.
Identify your Strengths: the third step is to list the areas of your strength. Those things that are very good and you are good at them.
Then finally make a decision now to improve on your weaknesses by the way of relating them on your kneels in prayer with actions. Tell God how empty you are, no man, alcohol or drugs can fill up your emptiness and make you whole, only God is able.
“If my people who are called by my name shall humble themselves and turn from their evil ways and come to me, I will hear them and heal their land” God promised.
Remain under the mighty power of the Lord Jesus Christ and in due season, inner strengths will be unsheathed from within you.
Note: the only difference between low and high self-esteem is the ability to discover ones strengths and work on the weakness. Know who you are